In Which
by PsychoGuy21
Summary: One person commits a series of wildly improbable and idiotic actions that somehow end up in his favor because everyone in Remnant are even bigger idiots and leave him wanting to cry his guts out but is unable to do so without the repercussion of possible death. Based on the DownSmashJon prompt The Queen's Apprentice.
1. The MC Greets This Wonderous World

Welp. I died. Should've seen it coming really. The one time I take the taxi instead of the stranger danger car sharing app, the driver turns out to be a hitman. Well, regardless of that I been falling in this black void for I wanna say…. Hour. Hour half. I am not an idiot I read bad fanfiction and even worse carbon copy isekais. I will probably end up in some manga or fantasy world.

I hope it's something cool.

I sigh. No it probably won't be.

…

Two hours of falling gives me time to think. Maybe my mind was poisoned by the dreadful animes. This could just be the afterlife. If it is, this afterlife sucks.

My life wasn't so bad. A 20 something living in a decent apartment, two solid friends, and family I only talk to when necessary.

… I should have called more. I'm sorry dad. Mom. Little brother. Please don't make my funeral too expensive.

Oh. I started crying.

...

It's kinda warm here.

Yet not… room temperature? No. That's not it.

I'm not alone. Well, I am. But, I am seeing an outline of me. I think… Maybe? I hope that's not the Truth. That's a whole can of worms I am not ready to open.

I give the outline a friendly wave.

Nothing back. Oh wait! Nope. Nevermind. Oh wait again! It is waving. Slowly but it is waving. Oh wait he's actually flipping me off.

I would have preferred a volleyball over you.

So, then. I refuse to call you Truth so…Other Self? Bit of a mouthful.

Void Man? Hmm… It might not be a man.

Void Guy? Not a fan of the word 'guy'.

Dark Void? Maybe.

Void Lord? Hey that sounds pretty cool.

Void Lord. Dark Void on special occasions. Be happy Void Lord. I gave you a cool name.

You listening in on my thoughts? I think you are. Because my head feels light and also you are looking at me.

I hope this is some kind of long wait to be reincarnated rather than my fate for all eternal non-existence.

This dark void is such a pain. If I am being yanked off into another world I and not suffering in loneliness for all time, it's taking its sweet time for sure. That being said is suffering in this place any better than suffering in whatever place I end up?

Ah screw it. YO! Void Lord, get me out of this place right bloody now!

GIVE ME MY ISEKAI WORLD!

Have it be magical, hot anime babes who aren't always used for fanservice, no shitty series about friendship is power, no series where everyday life is hell and especially not a shitty series where the main MC is a dumbass!

I want new clothes too! A functional black cloak with a hood! Red boots with little tiny cool bones near the upper part! Chainmail too! Also a utility belt! With a bag of holding! Give me kickass hair and eyes too! Don't forget weapons! An ironwood staff and a pure silver blade! Let me fall in a place where I can live a comfortable live in a position of power over the entire world! You hear me you crappy Truth knock off listening into my thoughts?!

Goddamn I am riled up now! I can't exactly go by my old name now. Hmm… alright I already described my dnd character pretty much so I might as well take his name!

"YOU HEAR ME, NEW WORLD?! I AM GALAHAD GRIMMSLEY AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE MY OYSTERS BITCH!" As I finished my declaration, a light started shining at the bottom and the outline was grinning and pointing down.

I bring my arms up to guard my face and I feel an absurdly large grin creeping up on my face as well. Life may have ripped away my peaceful life and squeezed lemon juice in my eyes, but to hell with life! I am going to take your lemons and BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE!

OH SHIT THAT'S THE GROUND.

*CRACK*

* * *

Salem was not sure what to make of the large black orb that appeared over domain and blotted all light from the sky. The mistress of all darkness is not often shocked however the entity is an unusual unknown existence to her. Since it appeared the grimm around her domain started to dissolve, but not the same way when they were killed. Their essence and the black pools were going to the orb.

This will not do.

* * *

Ow. I am in searing pain. Well my arms are at least, but …. It's a manageable pain. Okay, it makes me want to cry but I am holding it back in as much as I can. Can't have my first moment in the new world be pathetic weeping face down on the ground right? I take some deep breaths and the pain slowly fades away and I force myself to a kneeling position. I grasp the sand with a cupped hand and slowly pour it back. It felt odd like someone who copied and pasted the same sand particle over and over. The ominous purple crystals aren't really helping. I steel myself and approach the closest crystal. I give myself a once over and I just gotta say. Nice. I do a little finger gun thing.

"Pew-pew." My eyes are green now, but the cool part? Three pupils in each eye. My eye sight is actually better now too! No more glasses for this Asian! Dark blue hair is a bit tacky but hey. That is a my bad. I only said cool hair. I could also do without the red eye drawing on my chest, but my cloak is super cool. There is like a couple red outlines on the outer cape and the inner cape is completely crimson.

My sword looks like someone poured molten steel into a mold and did nothing else to it, real shiny though, with the blade being about 3 feet. There is also a huge empty circle where the blade and cross-guard meet. Maybe it's an invisible gem? I stuck my fingers through it. Nope, it's just empty space.

I wonder how sharp this thing is. I swung my sword at the crystal as a little experimental downward swing and uh... cut it half... So my blade is a Infinity+1 sword. I am okay with this.

My wood staff is a 5 foot long piece of tree branch being gnarled at the top. I smacked the crystal with it and made it into an old looking pillar. It is a fine piece of modern art if I say so myself. I even didn't hit it that hard!

Thank you wish granting Dark Void. I will treasure these weapons forever. The Void also gave me semi-translucent purple slug looking feelers. Although, all the changes I wanted were hair and eyes. I mean its still okay I guess. It is something I can overlook since I was given literally everything I demanded. Even the bag of holding. Either way I put both the sword and the staff in the burlap of holding. I'll think of names for them later. I felt a cold round thing, but I'll just worry about that later.

I take better look around my surrounding and my mouth dropped. The moon is cracked apart and some black orb is slowly disappearing. Oh god no. I am in Remnant, somewhere near Salem. I just thought I was in the dessert with all the hollows! Dammnit Void I take back my thanks! Oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez.

This is bad. I don't have enough combat experience to fight any of the bad guys in RWBY! Much less the Big Bad. I had a desk job for god's sake. Ah man. I'm gonna start crying again. Hold it in you coward. Okay this can work. I close my eyes, clasp my hands together and bring it to my forehead. What is left but to start praying.

Void Lord I am sorry I took my thanks back. You can have it. Just get me out of here.

"Greetings child. What are you doing so far from home?"

Void you can just go suck the biggest of pickles, may your lips be forever puckered and your tongue always taste of vinegar. I shut my eyes even harder and prayed my death will be swift.

"My child?"

...

...

...

Why aren't I dead yet? I open one eye and low and behold. Salem in all her unholiness. I knew I recognized her voice. She hasn't killed me yet, so that's a plus. How the hell can I get out of this?

Option A: Hey, there Salem. I am from a world where your reality is a web show. Hell no. That will lead to torture and and my death once I give all the information I know.

Option B: I am the god of destruction, bow to me! HELL THE MORE NO. Can't risk her being the goddess of darkness or light like all the fan theories suggest. This will also lead to death and torture.

Option C: Pretend to be an evil cultist. I mean that worked out for Tyrian. As long as I seem devoted to my cult, it might extend my lifespan just a bit more. Being the leader sounds good, that implies importance. Have to be respectful as well, I remember how Salem hates people questioning her. The Void Lord is a good god as any, even if he is kinda a prick and may or may not exist. Alright game face. Don't you cry you self insert MC. Smile to hide the fear and be graceful and nonthreatening as possible. Arms wide now.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you mistress Salem. I am the leader of the Cult of the Lost. My master has heard of your exploits and I wish to devote my life to you." Oh, dear god this sounds so much dumber when I say it out loud.

"Is that true, now? Follow me to my abode then. We have much to discuss." She said with a turn and a nod of her head.

Holy hell is this working? I completely expected to die again. No Grimmsley. Be back on guard. You never even touched the frying pan, you went straight into the fire and still burning. Bluff as much as you can, then bolt when you plant your feet in any of the four kingdoms.

* * *

Salem is very, very old. With that age she has seen many things. The rise and fall of many kingdoms and many heroes who try to slay her. It would not be untrue for one to say that she has worldly knowledge on nearly everything that ever existed on Remnant. In spite of her intelligence she was not prepared for what came out of the orb. A man, no. A small teenager, barely the age of the one she took under her guidance quite recently fell to the earth in a spectacular fashion the black orb dissolving as he fell. When she finally made it to him, he split open one of the crystals in the landscape and smashed it into a complex statue. Then he clasped his hands and started praying. Salem did not understand why, but this small action unsettled her. She pushed that unneeded feeling aside and offered a polite greeting.

"Greetings child. What are you doing so far from home?" She said with a grace benefiting royalty only to be met with silence. A lesser woman would have felt a little irked.

"My child?" The boy merely opened one of his eyes and his stare was fixed on her and at that moment, she felt weighed down. He was wrong. Something that should not exist in Remnant or rather something that could not possibly exist in remnant. Before she could make a move the weight was lifted, his demeanor changed and he smiled with his arms outstretched in a welcoming pose.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you mistress Salem. I am the leader of the Cult of the Lost. My master has heard of your exploits and I wish to devote my life to you." She blinked. This was unexpected.

"Is that true, now? Follow me to my abode then. We have much to discuss." A new piece has been introduced and Salem is nothing but resourceful on the use of her pieces.

###

Neither party offered any conversational starters on the walk back to her castle. Salem found it a bit on the refreshing side. Usually when her subordinates followed her it was either fearful silence and averted gazes from her form or ramblings on how great she was.

This was a natural silence. A comfortable silence.

The pair eventually made their way to the inner meeting room. Six wooden chairs surrounding a purple crystal table and a throne of the same crystal at the end. Salem took the throne and gestured the Otherworlder the wooden chair closest to her.

Before she could ask her questions, the child reached into a burlap sack around his belt and pull out... a teapot? She noticed a string on the handle on the teapot and as he pulled it out further, she saw the string tied around the handles of two tea cups. Salem was quite a bit baffled. Not at the tea set itself for it was nothing too extravagant, the set itself being a plain white. However the tea set was clearly larger than the burlap sack.

 _'He has access to True Magic? I can feel the enchantments on that tea set. How does he have access to long dead magic?'_

"Would you like some tea?" She merely nodded in curiosity. The tea cups broke away from the string that tied it down and made a place in front of them. The teapot then floated over her cup and began pouring. The tea was quite fragrant. After it finished pouring, the pot put itself down. Salem wanted to ask questions about the teapot, but that would come at a later time. There are more important things to learn.

"Young one, although you seem to know quite a bit about me already, I know nearly nothing about you. Could you give me your name?"

"My name is Galahad Grimmsley."

 _'Galahad Grimmsley? The people of remnant have long adopted the Color Naming Rule to express themselves. Ignoring that, naming yourself after my children would be considered sacrilege and he would have been burned at the stake 200 years ago.'_

"What is your purpose for revealing yourself so close to my home?"

"I wish to have you join my faith. The Void Lord has taken note of your actions and sent me, Its Herald, to extend the offer." Salem's eyes narrowed.

"And what would happen if I refuse this offer?" She will not answer to anyone. Her plan will not be interrupted by some stranger offering her to be subservient to his master.

"Nothing." She blinked.

"Nothing?" Grimmsley took a sip of his tea.

"The Void Lord has taken a liking to you. Your actions are the embodiment of my faith. Your ruthlessness, your cunning, and your ambition far surpass even mine. In fact my lord wishes for me to join your ranks, if you rejected the offer, a decision I wholeheartedly agree with." Grimmsley took another sip.

 _'That is... interesting.'_

She took a sip of the tea as well. Elderberry tea. Her favorite.

"And just who is this Void Lord?"

"A being that transcends natural understanding. It can be referred to as the world, sometimes the universe, often as god, it is also the truth. The Void Lord is master of both creation as well as destruction. My master does not have traditional means of communication like human tongue, so much of its teachings are undecipherable even to me. Certain old books even claim the Void Lord predates even the Brothers Deity. Although I believe that might be false. Some others book claim that the Void Lord is the older brother of Darkness."

 _'Older brother? Remnant has always understood it as the brother of darkness being the younger of the two.'_

"How can it be assured that you would not betray me?"

"Only my word. However if you wish I can form a Blood Oath with you to insure my loyalty."

 _'A Blood Oath. How long has it been since I heard those words? To form a Blood Oath is no small matter. A contract if broken would mean cessation of the soul itself. The last one was formed was nearly 6000 years ago between my old enemy and four young girls. Grimmsley is no fool. The look in his eyes says clearly that he knows what he is offering to me. There is no way anyone with the knowledge of a Blood Oath will offer it as a bargaining tool, even as a bluff.'_ Salem smiled.

"Fufu. An unnecessary temptation. I believe your word to be true. That being said we should discuss your future at my side." Galahad returned the smile.

"Of course mistress Salem. I am aware the that your current objective is to obtain the Fall Maiden, Amber and you set Cinder to that task, is that right?"

 _'So, the current Fall Maiden's name is Amber? Watts had his information network scour every database possible and turned up nothing. But here it is, her name on a silver platter.'_

"That is indeed true. Although, I wonder how did you obtain this information even on of my trusted subordinates have failed to obtain a name, did your other master reveal this information to you already?"

"Indeed, it has. It decided I needed to be privy on vital matters. Although, it has not given me everything. Even now my connection to my master wanes and in time might be lost entirely."

Salem hummed. _'He has only just arrived here, but communication with this Void Lord is nearly lost already. This may be a blessing, should it be gone entirely, he would be completely devoted to me.'_

"Has your master told you anything else about the Maiden?"

"She has light brown skin, brown hair, and a mole under her eye. She also dislikes efficient modes of transportation and instead rides horses along the countryside in a leisurely pace. Ozpin, like the fool he is, also refused to simply force her on a bullhead because and I am paraphrasing here 'because he values her freedom.'"

Salem had to stifle down a chuckle. _'That sounds just like him.'_

"Is it safe to assume you wish to aid Cinder on her quest then?"

"NO!" She was taken aback at his outburst, till now his attitude was calm and this display of emotion was unexpected. His purple antennae standing at attention and his odd eyes wide. The queen did also not miss how the feeling of wrongness came back even if slightly.

"... I apologize for that outburst mistress. I will not assist Cinder on obtaining more power. If she wishes to be powerful then she can do it herself. In the circumstance that failure happens then she was simply not suited to be your Fall Maiden and she should be rid of ."

 _'He refuses to coddle anyone and wants them to succeed on their own. Failure should not be tolerated and pieces should be tossed aside if useless._ _A pragmatic mind just like my own._ _'_

"It is forgiven. Then if you will not assist Cinder then what will you be doing then?"

"You wish to deprive humanity of strength, so I shall be stripping them of their strength."

"And how will you do that?"

"I shall poison their crops and deprive them of dust. A guardians loyalty to ones kingdom is well and good, but that loyalty is only as strong as long as the family of the guardian is well fed. People can understand if Grimm were to destroy the crops, but anger will be directed at them. Should the fault of crops failure be placed on the famers, then they shall turn on their friends they value so much just for the chance of food. In a nearby vein, dust shortages because some will be hoarding all the means to repel Grimm will allow the natural divisions in humanity to be more pronounced."

 _'Such a dastardly plan!'_ Salem's face lit up with unrivaled glee. _'Remnants farmers are tough enough to give, even my inner circle, a hard enough time in a fair fight, so I was never truly able to strike at their crops, but this man can surely finally be able to do so.'_

"This has been an enlightening chat. I shall call one of my subordinates back and have him lead you into any farmland you wish tomorrow. Is there anything you require to carry out your task?"

"Only money and large amounts of salt."

"Consider it done. This has been such a interesting chat, Galahad Grimmsley." A seer Grimm entered through the doors and stayed near the entrance. "The Seer shall lead you to your quarters, we have much to do tomorrow."

Grimmsley stood up and nodded. "Indeed we do mistress." With that statement being said he bowed and left Salem alone with her thoughts.

 _'This really is interesting. Ozpin, soon your destiny shall arrive. For I have obtained such a fearsome and capable piece.'_

* * *

This walk is terrifying. I wanna go home. How am I still alive?! My feet hurt so much and we are still walking!

Oh god why is there so many stairs?!

Oh thank gods above, chairs. Wait! Body don't sit down yet. Remember that manga, unless the host sits first and tells you to sit. It would be rude to do so. I am quite sure Salem won't cut off your relationship with neck, but don't risk it.

I take a glance at Salem and she was indeed sitting down and gesturing me to do the same.

Wow these chairs are more comfortable than they look. Wait, no brain think. Ignore the death cry of the legs. I have bluffed my way into this situations and isekai set up isn't doing me any favo-

THIS IS AN ISEKAI!

I might not be in a terrible situation after all. In isekais, the MC turns up near strong enemies and kills them by bullshit deus ex machina powers and gains even more bullshit deus ex machina powers. I did feel some weird round thing in the burlap of holding. So I reached in the bag as quickly as I could without seeming threating.

Where is it? Where is it?

Got it!

Alright, Black Void what do you have for me?

...

...

... It's a tea set. Uhhh... Crap where do I go from here?

"Would you like some tea?" That would be the logical statement to say after pulling out a tea set, yes? Black Void, is this because I took back my thanks? I gave it back you know. What are you doing to me?

Oh hey the tea set is floating.

Oh hey it's pouring us some tea.

I would be more shocked by this but imminent possible death kinda puts a damper on my shock.

"Young one, although you seem to know quite a bit about me already, I know nearly nothing about you. Could you give me your name?" Alright Galahad. Focus. We are still burning within the fire. Remember, be respectful and sprinkle some truth over your lies and I might still be alive after this.

"My name is Galahad Grimmsley."

"What is your purpose for revealing yourself so close to my home?" Uhh, be one of those people who knock on your door at five in the morning.

"I wish to have you join my faith. The Void Lord has taken note of your actions and sent me, Its Herald, to extend the offer." Salem's eyes narrowed. Oh crap, that's not good.

"And what would happen if I refuse this offer?" I don't have any strength to do anything against you and nothing in my arsenal can kill you in time nor can I threaten you. I can't do anything against you.

"Nothing." She blinked.

"Nothing?" My mouth is so dry. I am so glad my hands aren't sweating. Otherwise the tea might spill all over my hands.

"The Void Lord has taken a liking to you. Your actions are the embodiment of my faith. Your ruthlessness, your cunning, and your ambition far surpass even mine. In fact my lord wishes for me to join your ranks, if you rejected the offer, a decision I wholeheartedly agree with." I am only joining you so I can live. Please buy it, please, please, please.

"And just who is this Void Lord?" Say something believable.

"A being that transcends natural understanding. It can be referred to as the world, sometimes the universe, often as god, it is also the truth. The Void Lord is master of both creation as well as destruction. My master does not have traditional means of communication like human tongue, so much of his teachings are undecipherable even to me. Certain old books even claim the Void Lord predates even the Brothers Deity. Although I believe that might be false. Some others book claim that the Void Lord is the older brother of Darkness." I am so glad I am a anime nerd, otherwise my cult would not have any ground to exist.

"How can I be assured that you would not betray me?" Because I am not suicidal. I remember what you did to Lionheart. But, I can't use I'm not suicidal as a reason. Blood Oaths are a thing in anime right? Often they do nothing if broken, just empty promises.

"Only my word. However if you wish I can form a Blood Pact with you to insure my loyalty." Salem smiled, it was beyond creepy.

"Fufu. An unnecessary temptation. I believe your word to be true. That being said we should discuss your future at my side." I return the smile as best I can but it really hard to smile at her.

"Of course mistress Salem. I am aware the that your current objective is to obtain the Fall Maiden, Amber and you set Cinder to that task, is that right?" I need to know if I am before or after the start in canon. This could be very benefited for the main characters if this is before. _  
_

"That is indeed true. Although, I wonder how did you obtain this information even on of my trusted subordinates have failed to obtain a name, did your other master reveal this information to you already?"

"Indeed, it has. It decided I needed to be privy on vital matters. Although, it has not given me everything. Even now my connection to my master wanes and in time might be lost entirely."

Salem hummed.

"Has your master told you anything else about the Maiden?" God, I am so glad I read the RWBY wiki obsessively.

"She has light brown skin, brown hair, and a mole under her eye. She also dislikes efficient modes of transportation and instead rides horses along the countryside in a leisurely pace. Ozpin, like the fool he is, also refused to simply force her on a bullhead because and I am paraphrasing here 'because he values her freedom.'"

Salem made the sound of a dying cat.

"Is it safe to assume you wish to aid Cinder on her quest then?" What?! Why would I do that?!

"NO!" I freeze as she tensed. I just yelled at _SALEM_. My heart is nearly thumping itself of my chest. Calm down! Panicking will get you dead so calm down and do some **FUCKING** DAMAGE CONTROL.

"... I apologize for that outburst mistress. I will not assist Cinder on obtaining more power. If she wishes to be powerful then she can do it herself. In the circumstance that failure happens then she was simply not suited to be your Fall Maiden and she should be rid of." That's a good answer right. It must've been because she relaxed a little.

"It is forgiven. Then if you will not assist Cinder then what will you be doing then?" Oh thank god. Alright come on. I'm nearly out of the fire.

"You wish to deprive humanity of strength, so I shall be stripping them of their strength."

"And how will you do that?" I really am glad I'm from the real world. So many late nights on tvtropes allows for so many ways to earn favor from Salem.

"I shall poison their crops and deprive them of dust. A guardians loyalty to ones kingdom is well and good, but that loyalty is only as strong as long as the family of the guardian is well fed. People can understand if Grimm were to destroy the crops, but anger will be directed at them. Should the fault of crops failure be placed on the famers, then they shall turn on their friends they value so much just for the chance of food. In a nearby vein, dust shortages because some will be hoarding all the means to repel Grimm will allow the natural divisions in humanity to be more pronounced." It's not like I'm doing anything bad any way. Well, I am, but she probably is already doing it regardless. I mean, it would make sense considering how easily Vale fell. At least this is controlled evil.

Salem's face gained a smile much bigger and brighter than her last one. That was a good response brain, good job.

"This has been an enlightening chat. I shall call one of my subordinates back and have him lead you into any farmland you wish tomorrow. Is there anything you require to carry out your task?"

"Only money and massive amounts of salt."

"Consider it done. This has been such a interesting chat, Galahad Grimmsley." A tentacled Grimm entered through the doors and stayed near the entrance. "The Seer shall lead you to your quarters, we have much to do tomorrow."

I stood up and nodded. "Indeed we do mistress." With that I left the room after I bowed.

###

I followed the hentai Grimm for somewhere around five minutes and arrived at my room. I gave the thing a nod and a goodbye.

What? Just because it's a monster doesn't mean I shouldn't treat it as one or ignore it. Besides maybe I can get some Grimm to Rebel against her.

Oh wow. This room is quite bare. A bed and a window. I sat down on the bed, placed both my hands on my forehead and sighed.

...

...

...

I wanted to cry. I really did. But I couldn't work up the tears. Exhaustion was my best friend right now. I outwitted the devil and somehow got a job working under her. It beats death sure, but... these are people I will be stealing food from...

I can't go to sleep. I'm not sleepy. I stuck my hand into the burlap of holding to see if the Void gave me other things than a tea set. Other than my weapons, nothing was in the bag.

I stared at them for a while.

I picked up my sword and started to do practice swings.

What else could I do?

* * *

 **Sup fanfic consosuirs. Buckle up suckle down and tighten your belt cause imma gonna take ya on a journey.**

 **Also for legal reasons:**

 **DownSmashJon: I'm giving approval, so I better not see any bashing for "creative theft".**

 **There. No one yell at me in the reviews. I got permission or yell at me anyway. Will this be continued? Probably.**

 **Edit: I did some edit stuff to the Salem meet'n'greet so it flows a bit better. Also the Void Bit I edited.**


	2. The MC Has A Nice Meal

I kept swinging my sword downwards for who knows how long. There is no way to tell time here. The sky is stuck in a permanent state of red and black. It most likely wasn't long though since my arms aren't tired, but I placed the sword back on the bed and pulled out the staff and did some side swings anyway.

"Tch." Annoyance and anger fills me quite a bit.

I should have asked for a gun. Having Infinity+1 Sword & Staff is nice, but I won't be able to hit anyone with them. I am absolutely sure they would have cut through Salem like butter, but I have no training in weaponry. She would have dodged and I most likely would have died horribly.

Battle theory I understand due to massive amounts of manga and anime even some western cartoons.

Practically, speaking though? Right now I think I could barely defeat Jaune. Possibly. Maybe. Probably.

Chaining attacks are my weakness right now as well. After the first swing it's harder to swing a second time.

Dual wielding is not an option due to my weapon choice. The staff and sword would get in each others way any time I would swing them.

Armor is lacking. The chainmail set leaves my hands and head exposed, two possible ways of death is too many. That being said I should test out my equipment.

I took off one of my boots and smashed my staff down on it. Other than the crater underneath it the boot was unscratched. Then I hit my chest with the staff as hard as I can and it felt little more than someone flicking my chest.

I grabbed the sword with my left hand and thrust the sword into the nearest wall. Yep, it went though. No resistance or anything.

Now you may be wondering about sword sharpness vs staff durability. Well, it was kind of like the spear that can pierce though anything and the shield that can block any blow. The sword made it half way through the staff, but the staff repaired itself once the sword was removed. That's good to know.

Jumping proved to be easier as well. Nearly cleared about four feet. Is gravity weaker in Remnant as well? Guess fanfiction was right about that after all. I was a little happy after learning that tidbit because I was able to do my first successful back flip. A little pride was felt after my feat of acrobatics. I was never able to do that on Earth.

The sword was placed back into the bag and I started doing quick weapon changes. Swinging the staff once or twice then quickly storing it and then diagonal strikes with the sword then going back to the staff. Rinse repeat.

The burlap bag is most likely my most dangerous thing I have. The fabric wouldn't be cut even by my sword. The storage feels infinite and stretches to fit objects larger than itself.

I cannot believe the bed fit in there. Could I fit an ocean worth of water in here?

What worries me most is that if other people can use this bag. It is just a normal bag to them or is it also an infinite storage container? Same with the weapons. Is the otherworldly sharpness of the sword and the almighty crushing power of the staff only availabe to me? I shudder to think if I lost them.

Aura is another part of my worries. I definitely do not have aura. Otherwise I would feel something inside me. Dust is most likely out of my reach as well if aura is required to actually activate it. Hmm... I point my staff forward.

"CREATE WATER!" Oh dear lord this was a mistake.

I fell to my knees and dry heaved. That was certainly... an experience.

An painful one, but one I can be happy with. Grinning I stare at the staff clutched in my hands. Cast Cleric spells from my dnd character may be within my grasp. It could be a question or not I'm ready for them. I certainly felt a pull when I tried to cast that level one spell, but does that mean I'm not even level one? So no aura, but I might be a spellcaster. I could be so very broken if I play my cards right. Right now, my equipment might be good things about me, but soon I can wield them to them with some degree with competence.

Suddenly a knock was at my door. Why is their knocking? Salem and I just finished our conversation an hour ago, why am being called again?

I grip my staff a bit tighter and my sword is now back in the bag. My palms a bit sweaty. Curse my nervous sweating. I really don't want to talk to her again. I open the door and see Mister(Miss?) Tentacles and quite frankly the largest imitating bear of a man I ever seen in my life.

"It's time for your mission briefing." Said Mister(Miss?) Tentacles.

* * *

Hazel was confused. He was sent off in a bullhead to do a mission for his queen, but went he was barely out of the Grimmlands he was called back by a Seer Grimm. Spending a day and a night traveling piloting back to Salem abode was an exhausting task.

"There has been a change of plan. Come back as quickly as you can." Hazel wanted to ask Salem what she meant, but he was not stupid. If she has orders for him, then he shall obey otherwise it may be... unpleasant.

Following the Seer Grimm, he noticed that even though he is in the familiar sleeping chambers, he is going much deeper than normal. Sensing _something_ the further he goes. A presence. Not like his queens. It felt wrong. Well... even more wrong.

He was not expecting the sword missing his face by an inch. Surprised, he stumbled back and fell backwards.

Looking towards the Seer, he could feel his lady's amusement through it.

 _'The hell was that? A botched assassination? No, her way of dispatching useless ones are much more direct and much more brutal.'_

Quickly getting back onto feet, he recomposed himself. Hearing a knock, he found the seer tapping it's tentacles on a door. Then he felt the _something_ grow in intensity.

The door opened to reveal... a young faunus?

 _'Is he the reason I came back?'_

"It's time for your mission briefing." Said Salem through the Grimm and the boy merely nodded.

 _'His eyes.'_ Hazel did not like them.

###

The walk to the meeting chamber room was uncomfortable. It reminds Hazel of the times he would walk with his mistress alone. The wrongness feeling leaving the air only when the boy held the chamber door open for him.

 _'He's polite.'_

Hazel entered the chamber and saw Salem already there, sipping tea? That is unusual to say the least. He never saw her eat or drink anything in the meeting room. He wasn't even sure if she _needed_ to eat or drink. Barring that she always arrived after all his cohorts were already there.

"Greetings, mistress Salem." It was the boy who greeted Salem first.

"Good afternoon, my lady."

"Good morning. You both may be seated." Hazel's legs were grateful to have a place to finally sit. Traveling such a tremendous distance was not pleasant on anyone's legs.

He took notice of the teapot and two teacups, it reminded him of the tea parties he would use to have with his sister.

"Would you like some tea?" It was his queen who offered and that was enough to trigger the already many ringing alarm bells in his head even more. Before his answer could be said, he blinked and an additional identical cup appeared in front of him. To his disbelief, the teapot floated over to his cup and began pouring itself.

They both looked at him expectedly. He sipped it. Earl Grey with mixed in milk... Nostalgic.

"This is Galahad Grimmsley. He is the one who poured your tea." _'What a strange name.'_

"Galahad, this is Hazel Rainart. He is your fellow ally and shall be your companion for your mission. He will provide anything you need for the task. Hazel, I have already instructed Watts to wire some money into your account. It will be up to Galahad discretion to be seen how it will be spent."

 _'He is my partner?'_ Hazel did not understand. Who was this boy exactly? Where did he come from? Why did Salem drink his tea? Tyrian tried so hard to get her to drink tea, but would always be declined.

"Now. I believe it would be in your best your best interest to get to know each other." _'What?'_

Hazel was unsure what to say to that, but luckily for him Galahad spoke first.

"It is to my understanding you have a little sister." Hazel gut twisted.

"I have... Had a little brother. They really are adorable aren't they? Little siblings." _'What is he playing at?'_ Hazel did not miss the slip of the tongue.

"My little sister is dead."

"I know and I'm sorry. She didn't deserve that." He meant it, Hazel could tell. Ozpin knew that she wasn't ready, but he recruited her anyway resulting in her death in a training accident.

"My own brother is somewhere beyond my reach as well." Understanding dawned on Hazel. This is why Salem wanted the two to talk. They have both experienced mutual loss of family.

"I shall leave you two alone. When you are both finished speaking, you Hazel, will take Galahad wherever he needs to go in order to complete his mission." Salem then silently left the pair alone.

"I remember one time, my little brother fell of his bike. He was crying like mad and wanted me to 'beat up' the ground. It was so silly. I, of course, being the older brother did indeed 'beat up' the ground." Mirth danced around Hazel face.

"Really? I remember this one time my sister ate my sandwich and blamed her stuffed bird, Mister Flyee. It was quite silly as well. I ended up making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for all three of us."

Hazel did not like being in the dark about what the mission was about.

Hazel did not like having a stranger as a partner for a mission.

Hazel did not like the idea of traveling again after just getting here.

Hazel did like however, trading stories with a fellow older brother.

###

The engine of his personal bullhead roaring in the back, Hazel asked only one question.

"Where to?"

"Mistral."

* * *

"Galahad, this is Hazel Rainart. He is your fellow ally and shall be your companion for your mission. He will provide anything you need for the task. Hazel, I have already instructed Watts to wire some money into your account. It will be up to Galahad discretion to be seen how it will be spent."

I get to choose how it gets spent? Haha wow. I am going to buy so much armor.

"Now. I believe it would be in your best your best interest to get to know each other." I already know enough about this dude. Guy has a little sister and stabs himself to fight.

"It is to my understanding you have a little sister." Man, bonding over siblings are the best

"I have... Had a little brother. They really are adorable aren't they? Little siblings."

"My little sister is dead." Oh. Oh that's right. he blames Ozpin for her death. How did she die again? Eh, vagueness is always my friend.

"I know and I'm sorry. She didn't deserve that."

"My own brother is somewhere beyond my reach as well." I don't think he's dead unless time moves differently here than in my reality but either way I might not be able to see him again.

"I shall leave you two alone. When you are both finished speaking, you Hazel, will take Galahad wherever he needs to go in order to complete his mission." Salem then just glided out of the room. Does she have heelys or something?

"I remember one time, my little brother fell of his bike. He was crying like mad and wanted me to 'beat up' the ground. It was so silly. I, of course, being the older brother did indeed 'beat up' the ground." It was one of the stupidest thing at the time. I had to stomp on the ground and said to him I was breaking the ground's teeth.

"Really? I remember this one time my sister ate my sandwich and blamed her stuffed bird, Mister Flyee. It was quite silly as well. I ended up making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for all three of us." Hahaha that's so stupid.

I like Hazel. Regular people I can deal with, scary monstrous people like Salem? I could also deal with, but I rather not have a heart attack everytime I have a conversation with them and you know what I deserve this. A conversation between normal people is the best thing to happen to me in this world.

###

We talked a bit more before departing the Grimmlands. I decided to go to Mistral for the time being. There is nothing of worth in my memory to go to Vacuo. Altas most would be most likely be shot down, due to it being really militaristic and could raise some suspicious on what we buy.

Vale... is a bit trickier. I could go there and wander around until I find Ozpin, but that is unlikely. For what possible reason would Ozpin meet me? I don't exist in this world. So the only possible reason he would meet up with me is if I got arrested or foiled a robbery. Even then, I think the only reason he met up with Ruby was because he is a Magnificent Bastard who kept tabs on the silver eyed warriors. I mean he is a Magnificent Bastard on the side of good(?), but a manipulator still.

Anyway, me showing up here is already going to derail canon a bit. I have no idea what Salem or Cinder did to destabilize the city of Vale so much, but I have knowledge of thousands of the fantasy worlds with similar kingdom destabilizing plot points. So, I do the thing that were going to happen anyway and Salem won't off me for being useless.

I frown and bit my thumb. RWBY exists. Which means all other worlds must exist as well. Is travel to other worlds only accessible upon death? Will I just be sent to another world again when my second death come to me? What if something like the Godhand were to gain access to this world?

Shaking my head and I buried those thoughts in the back of my mind. Death isn't a huge fear for me now anyway. Worst case scenario I end up back in the Void with the Truth knock off... I hope.

"Grimmsley! Landing will take only a few minutes!"

"Understood Mister Rainart!" Urgh. I hate speaking like this. So bloody formal. But I need to not show disrespect to people on the evil side... Is Salem even evil? Thoughts for later, the plane has finished landing.

Hazel left the pilots compartment and faced me. "Mistral is only a two hour walk from here. Once there, I'll hand over the money Watts transferred over to me for you. Spend it wisely." Wait, there's more walking?

###

Oh dear god in heaven a bench! I sagged on the park bench as graceful as I could, which in other words, I did a face first plop onto it. Three hours on my feet with no rest? I don't like you anymore Hazel.

We went our separate ways once the money was withdrawn from his account and had gotten me a scroll. Four million lien can you believe that? I never thought the Grimm queen would be so generous. He said he would wait at a hotel until my false identity was created. I insisted on the name Galahad Grimmsley, even though he warned me the natives of Remnant would find it strange. Screw them.

 _'I like the name. There's nothing wrong with it.'_

Either way I should go shopping. I stand on my feet again. I have a farm to poison after all.

Gah, the appearance of the Remnant residents are awful.

They are just black cardboard cutouts. Every single person I passed was just solid black silhouette. Well, that's not fair. The ones I assume to be faunus have bunny ears marking them as such. When they speak it's all warbled, muffled, English. That is a relief at least. That means they are just place holders making sure the story would unfold.

So in the end I worried about nothing.

Who cares if these mooks starve and die? If the only people I can see the details of are characters important to the plot like Salem and Hazel, then the only people that matter are main, secondary, and side characters. Once they are happy, the world should get a happy ending. Man, that is Protagonist Centered Morality at it's finest.

Oh wow the shopping district was so loud and obnoxiously colorfully bright. So many frigging food stands.

"Crepes! Fresh sweet crepes!" Did he just say crepes?! Running into the crepe stand, quite literally, I whip out my burlap sack of holding and dumped out some lien on the crepe stand.

"I'LL TAKE TWENTY CHOCO-SUMMER CREAM FRUIT ONES!" The crepe mook jumped back a little, but I think he grinned. I probably made that mooks day.

"You got it buddy!" It was so amazing! The crepe mook moved with such coolness. Hand dancing about spreading the batter evenly. Placing the fruit gently with practiced ease. It's been so long since I had food! I almost forgot about it entirely, the only substance I had was tea and I left the tea set at the castle. I was wrong about Remnant silhouette mooks. They can cook food for the protagonists and therefor me. They're pretty cool! In a flash, all twenty were done and I placed nineteen of them in the burlap of holding and went along my way after asking the crepe mook for directions to a dust shop.

"Thanks man come again!"

I stare at the crepe in my hand as I walk.

Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow. It's so preeeeetttyyyy. The strawberries halves a deep rose colour. The orange slices peeled of their pith are almost glistening in the warm summer sun. The kiwis providing a nice contrast on the white cream they were resting on. Nestled on the top two chocolate wafers reminiscent of a crown.

"A work of art. Truly a dessert fit for kings! A beauty we mortals are undeserving of!"

I really like crepes okay?

I pluck off a wafer of this wondrous thing and take a small bite, intending to savor the chocolate cookie that would coat my tongue.

The second it was in my mouth I spat it out. Chewing it only once.

Urgh. The texture was like glass. The cookie stabbing the insides of my mouths. The chocolate like bitter leaves.

I took a bite of the other to find it the same. I sniff the crepe. The fruit smells fine. Okay, no big deal. Probably bad wafers.

Taking a full bite of the crepe made me bend over and nearly caused me to retch and I think I bumped into someone. The cream was like thick sludge of liquid garbage. Strawberries hard like tack. The orange felt as though maggots were living within my mouth. The kiwis were somehow even worse with a bitter flavour and hard texture.

I been had. That's why the crepes were only seven lien each. I take back my admiration for you crepe mook. I should've figured, a mook. Making good sweets. What bullshit. The only good thing was that it wasn't my money I spent.

 _'Better dump the rest of crepes, I guess. Man, I just wanted friggin food.'_

Reaching for my burlap sack, I didn't find it tied around my belt.

I looked around for it.

I didn't find it, but I did see a puff of green hair.

 _'Oh you dirty pickpocket.'_

I ran towards her tossing away the disgusting crepe, pushing away any and all silhouette mooks.

"GET BACK HERE!"

* * *

 _'What is with this guy?!'_

Emerald was casing out any loaded passersby at the market earlier when a slug Faunus made a small commotion. The mark got her attention when he screamed about buying twenty crepes.

She, at first, fumed a little when she heard that. She could barely afford non-descript meat product and this guy went and bought one hundred forty lien worth of street snacks.

So stealing the bag when he was eating his crepe was an obvious outcome. After all, a magical bag that could fit nineteen crepes in it didn't actually sound that bad.

The mark then began to dry retch, which made it so much easier to snag his bag.

But, he instantly noticed! Emerald was not a bad pickpocket. She was the best thief around, and she could someone's tooth out of their without them noticing.

So then Emerald ran, burlap bag in hand. She noticed he was giving chase, and she realized she might have made a mistake. Now that the mark's attention was solely on her, a feeling washed over her. A dangerous one. One that screamed only when she failed stealing something from a huntsmen.

The feeling of approaching death.

So an effort to throw the bag away was made. Effort being the key word. The bag seemed to be stuck to her hand!

 _'Are you serious?!'_

Emerald couldn't believe it. The victim was one of _those_ people. People who wanted to get intentionally robbed so they could harm the robbers with 'just' cause. It made sense. That's why he was so loud about crepes. No real person is that happy about what's basically a pancake.

* * *

Elsewhere, an orange haired girl sneezed and dropped her pancakes into a fire.

No unbroken legs were among the survivors.

* * *

She grit her teeth.

 _'Goddamn it!'_

She didn't want to use her guns if at all possible. Least of all in a crowded area like the mistrialian market place, but the mark wasn't giving her much choice, chasing her for nearly six blocks.

Ducking into an alley she pulled out her dual SMG with the intent of filling him with holes, but the guy just ran past the alley.

Emerald wanted to laugh. He didn't even notice her running into an alley, but noticed her pickpocketing him?

Not letting her guard down she gave a quick peek outside the alley to find that yes, the mark was running way off in the distance.

Sighing, she inspected the burlap bag. It wasn't anything special, just a bag with a rope to fasten it closed.

It didn't look like it would be so sticky or... as moist.

Untying the bag she found it... odd. The insides were dark.

Pushing aside those thoughts she reached into the bag, smirking all the while.

Which quickly went away when she realized she couldn't pull her hand out of the bag.

"The hell?!"

The bag was pulling her in.

Then all that was left in the alley was a burlap sack...

Which quickly blinked out of existence.

* * *

 **Whoop whoop.** **What is up on this fine Tuesday my doods!**

 **Reception to chapter one was surprisingly warm. 12 follows and two reviews?! For something that was cranked out in 30 minutes it was surprisingly popular and I love it. I thank all of you guys who decided my crappy fic was worth following and I will try to surpass your expectations for this fic. I will try to surpass all other OC fics, that I promise to you!**

 **Ahh... That being said. Updates are going to be infrequent, but you probably figured that out since this took 5 months to update. Either way. Review and tell me how to improve!**


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